Dean : [To Jess] You know I gotta tell you, you are completely out of my brother's league.
Dean : House rules, Sammy. Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.
Sam : [To Dean] When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a .45.
Dean : You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are.
Sam : Who is that?
Dean : One of us.
Dean : [To Sam] You know, we made a hell of a team back there.
Dean : [To Wendigo] Chow time, you freaky bastard. Yeah, that's right, bring it on baby. I taste good.
Hailey : You're Rangers?
Dean : That's right.
Hailey : And you're hiking out in biker boots and jeans?
Dean : Well, sweetheart, I don't do shorts.
Dean : [To Sam] No, you're not fine. You're like a powder keg, man, it's not like you. I'm supposed to the beligerent one, remember?
Sam : [To Dean] I gotta find Jessica's killer. It's the only thing I can think about.
Dean : [To Sam] Oh God, we’re not gonna have to hug or anything, are we?
Andrea : [To Dean] Must be hard with your sense of direction. Never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.
Will : All these workouts Soph—I don’t know. Guys don’t like buff girls.
Sophie : Yeah well, girls don’t like guys who still live at home.
Dean : I just don’t want to leave town till I know the kid’s okay.
Sam : Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?
Andrea : [To Dean] You saved my son. I can’t ask for more than that. Dad loved me. He loved Lucas. No matter what he did, I just have to hold on to that.
Lucas : Zeppelin rules!
Sam : Are you ok?
Dean : No, not really.
Sam : Why? What's wrong?
Dean : I kind of have this problem with... (moves his hand in a plane motion)
Sam : Flying?
Dean : It's never really been an issue until now.
Sam : You're joking right?
Dean : Do I look like I'm joking?! Why do you think I drive everywhere, Sam?!
Dean : So what did you dream about?
Sam : Lollipops and candy canes.
Dean : Do I look like Paris Hilton?
Dean : This is about Jessica, isn’t it? You think that’s your dirty little secret that you killed her somehow? Sam, this has got to stop, man. I mean, the nightmares and calling her name out in the middle of the night - it’s gonna kill you. Now listen to me - it wasn’t your fault. If you wanna blame something, then blame the thing that killed her. Or hell, why don’t you take a swing at me? I mean I’m the one that dragged you away from her in the first place.
Sam : Look…you’re my brother and I’d die for you, but there are some things I need to keep to myself.
Dean : First I'm gonna find that handsome devil and kick the holy crap out of him.
Dean : [To Sam] Like it or not, we're not like other people.
Sam : Even at Stanford, deep down, I never really fit in.
Dean : Well, that's cause you're a freak.
Sam : I tell them I'm on a road trip with my big brother. I tell them I need some time off after Jess.
Dean : So you lie to them?
Sam : No, I just don't tell them everything.
Dean : Yeah, that's called lying.
Dean : Remember when I said this wasn't our kind of problem?
Sam : Yeah
Dean : Definitely our kind of problem.
Shapeshifter as Dean : [To Sam] See, deep down, I'm just jealous. You got friends, you could have a life. Me? I know I'm a freak and sooner or later everyone's going to leave me.
Taylor : Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.
Lori : There’s nothing you wouldn’t do.
Dean : Your, uh, half-caf, double vanilla latte is gettin’ cold over here, Francis.
Dean : Saved your ass! Talked the sheriff down to a fine. Dude, I am Matlock.
Sam : But how?
Dean : I told him you were a dumbass pledge and that we were hazing you.
Sam : What about the shotgun?
Dean : I said that you were hunting ghosts and the spirits were repelled by rock salt. You know, typical Hell Week prank.
Sam : And he believed you?
Dean : Well, you look like a dumbass pledge.
Dean : Mad Cow? Wasn't that on Oprah?
Sam : You watch Oprah?
Sam : The question is why bugs? And why now?
Dean : That's two questions.
Dean : [To Sam] You're kinda like the blond chick in The Munsters
Sam : So, how do we break the curse?
Dean : You dont break a curse. You get out of it's way.
Missouri : People dont come here for the truth, they come here for good news.
Dean : [To Sam] Hey! Am I boring you with this hunting evil stuff?
Dean : First you tell me you've got The Shining and then you tell me I've got to go back home, especially when...
Sam : When what?
Dean : When I swore to myself I would never go back there.
Dean : [On phone to John] Dad? I know I've left you messages before. I dont even know if you get them. But I'm with Sam and we're in Lawrence and there's something in our old house. I dont know if it's the thing that killed Mom or not but ... I dont know what to do. So, whatever you're doing, if you could get here. Please. I need your help Dad.
Sam : Dad going missing and Jessica dying and now this house all happening at once. It just feels like something's starting.
Mary : [To Poltergeist] You get out of my house and let go of my son.
Dean : [To Sam] See that attitude there ... that's why I always get the extra cookie.
Dean : The only thing that makes me more nervous than a pissed off spirit is the pissed off spirit of a psycho killer.
Dean : You're not gonna try and kill me, are you?
Sam : No.
Dean : Good, 'cause that would be awkward.
Dean : [About John] I love the guy but I swear he writes like freakin' Yoda.
Kat : So how do you guys know about all this ghost stuff?
Sam : It's kind of our job.
Kat : Why would anyone want a job like that?
Sam : I had a crappy guidance counsellor.
John : Listen, Sammy, I, uh…I also know what happened to your girlfriend. I’m so sorry. I would’ve done anything to protect you from that.
Sam : I don’t understand the blind faith you have in the man. I mean, it’s like you don’t even question him.
Dean : Yeah, it’s called being a good son!
Dean : [To Scarecrow] Dude, you fugly!
Meg : Here’s to us. The food might be bad, and the beds might be hard. But at least we’re living our own lives. And nobody else’s.
Dean : You’ve always known what you want. And you go after it. You stand up to Dad. And you always have. Hell, I wish I—anyway….I admire that about you. I’m proud of you, Sammy.
Sam : I don’t even know what to say.
Dean : Say you’ll take care of yourself.
Sam : I will.
Sam : I still wanna find Dad. And you’re still a pain in the ass. But, Jess and Mom - they’re both gone. Dad is God knows where. You and me. We’re all that’s left. So, if we’re gonna see this through, we’re gonna do it together.
Dean : Hold me, Sam. That was beautiful.
Dean : Have you ever watched daytime TV... It's horrible! Ooh, that teddy bear softner, I'm gonna hunt that little bitch down!
Dean : Hey, you better take care of that car. Or, I swear, I’ll haunt your ass.
Dean : Well, I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.
Sam : You know, this whole I-laugh-in-the-face-of-death thing? It’s crap. I can see right through it.
Dean : Why? Why me? Out of all the sick people, why save me?
Roy : Well, like I said before, the Lord guides me. I looked into your heart, and you just stood out from all the rest.
Dean : What did you see in my heart?
Roy : A young man with an important purpose. A job to do. And it isn’t finished.
Dean : Hey. Uh, you know, I’m not much of the prayin’ type. But I’m gonna pray for you.
Layla : Well. There’s a miracle right there.
Sam : My life was so simple. Just school. Exams. Papers on polycentric cultural norms.
Dean : So, I guess I saved you from a boring existence.
Sam : Yeah, occasionally I miss boring.
Dean : Alright, so this killer truck...
Sam : I miss conversations that didn't start with "this killer truck".
Cassie : [To Dean] The guy I'm with, the guy I'm hoping might be in my future, tells me he professionally pops ghosts.
Sam : [To Dean] You mean you dated someone? For more than one night?
Sam : [To Dean about Cassie] What's interesting is you guys never really look at each other at the same time. You look at her when she's not looking; she checks you out when you look away. It's just an interesting observation. In a, you know, observationally interesting way.
Dean : If you’re gonna hurl, I’ll pull the car over, you know, ‘cause the upholstery...
Dean : Our family’s not cursed. We just had our dark spots.
Sam : Our dark spots are pretty dark.
Max : All these people kept coming with, like, casseroles. I finally had to tell them all to go away. You know, ‘cause nothing says “I’m sorry” like a tuna casserole.
Sam : Well, I’ll tell you one thing - we’re lucky we had Dad.
Dean : I never thought I’d hear you say that.
Dean : As long as I’m around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you. Now then, I know what we need to do about your premonitions. I know where we have to go.
Sam : Where?
Dean : Vegas. What? Come on, man. Craps table. We’d clean up.
Kathleen : Does your cousin have a drinking problem?
Dean : Sam? Two beers and he’s doin’ karaoke.
Dean : Yeah, Dean. Kind of the black sheep of the family. Handsome, though.
Dean : Look, here’s the thing. When we were young, I pretty much pulled him from a fire. And ever since then, I’ve felt responsible for him. Like it’s my job to keep him safe. I’m just afraid if we don’t find him fast. Please. He’s my family.
Dean : Never do that again.
Sam : Do what?
Dean : Go missin’ like that.
Sam : You were worried about me.
Dean : All I’m sayin’ is, you vanish like that again, I’m not lookin’ for ya.
Sam : Sure, you won’t.
Dean : Hey Sam, next time you want to get laid, find a girl who's not so buckets of crazy, eh?
Sam : [To Dean] You mind doing a little thinking with your upstairs brain?
Dean : I spoke to Amy - a charming perky officer of the law.
Sam : Yeah, what did you find out?
Dean : Well, she's a Sagitarius, she loves tequila, I mean... *sighs*, oh and she's got this little tattoo right...
Sam : Dean!
Sam : There's gotta be something that you want for yourself.
Dean : Yeah, I don't want you to leave the second this is over, Sam.
Sam : Dude, what's your problem?
Dean : Why do you think I drag you everywhere? Huh? Why do you think I came and got you at Stanford in the first place?
Sam : Cause Dad was in trouble. Cause you wanted to find the thing that killed Mom.
Dean : Yes that. But it's more than that, man. You and me and Dad. I want us to be together again. I want us to be a family again.
Sam : Dean, we are a family. I'd do anything for you. But things will never be the way they were before.
Dean : Could be.
Sam : Well, I don't want them to be. I'm not going to live this life forever. Dean, when this is over, you're going to have to let me go my own way.
John : [To Dean and Sam] This fight is just starting. We're all going to have a part to play.
Sam : Of all the things we've hunted, how many exist just because people believed in them?
Dean : I barely have any skin left on my palm.
Sam : I'm not touching that line with a ten foot pole.
Dean : Most of those websites wouldn't know a ghost if it bit them in the persqueeter.
Dean: I hate rats.
Sam : You rather it was a ghost?
Dean : Yes.
Dean : Don’t worry. I’m sure there’s something in Fitchburg worth killing.
Sam : Yeah, what makes you so sure?
Dean : Because I’m the oldest, which means I’m always right.
Sam : No it doesn’t.
Dean : Yeah, it totally does.
John : Alright, if something tries to bust in...
Young Dean : Shoot first, ask questions later.
John : That’s my man.
Michael : King or two queens?
Dean : Two queens.
Michael : Yeah, I’ll bet.
Dean : Yeah, well. First of all, I’m not going to open fire in a friggin’ pediatrics ward.
Sam : Good call.
Dean : Second, it wouldn’t have done any good cause the bastard’s bulletproof unless he’s chowing down on something. And third, I wasn’t packing. Which is probably a really good thing cause I probably would have just burned a clip in him off of the principal alone.
Dean : I’d give anything not to tell you this, but sometimes nightmares are real.
Sam : I wish I could have that kind of innocence.
Dean : If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could, too.
Sam : So, what are we today, Dean? Are we rock stars? Are we Army Rangers?
Dean : We’re L.A. TV scouts looking for people with special skills.
Sarah : A fine example of American Primitive, wouldn’t you say?
Sam : Well, I’d say it’s more Grant Wood than Grandma Moses... but you knew that. You just wanted to see if I did.
Dean : And I don’t mean any disrespect, but I’m - I’m sure that this is about Jessica, right? Now, I don’t know what it’s like to lose somebody like that... but.... I would think that she would want you to be happy. God forbid, have fun once in a while. Wouldn’t she?
Dean : Sam... marry that girl.
Sarah : So, this is what you guys do for a living?
Sam : Not exactly. We don’t get paid.
Sarah : You guys seem to be uncomfortably comfortable with this.
Sam : Well... this isn’t exactly the first grave we’ve dug. Still think I’m a catch?
Sam : Hey, there’s salt over here. Right inside the door.
Dean : You mean like protection-against-demon salt, or, uh, ‘oops, I spilled the popcorn’ salt?
Dean : Vampires. It gets funnier every time I hear it.
John : Hey, and Dean, why don’t you touch up your car before you get rust? I wouldn’t have given you the damn thing if I thought you were gonna ruin it.
John : Back in 1835, when Halley’s comet was overhead, the same night those men died at the Alamo, they say Samuel Colt made a gun. A special gun. He made it for a hunter - a man like us, only on horseback. The story goes, he made 13 bullets. This hunter used the gun a half dozen times before he disappeared, the gun along with him. Somehow, Daniel got his hands on it. They say.... They say this gun can kill anything.
Dean : Kill anything, like supernatural anything?
Sam : Like the demon.
John : Yeah, the demon. Ever since I picked up its trail, I’ve been looking for a way to destroy that thing. Find the gun... we may have it.
John : So somewhere along the line I stopped being your father. And I became your drill sergeant.
John : It scares the hell out of me. You two are all I’ve got. But I guess we are stronger as a family. So... we go after this damn thing... together.
Dean : Call you? Are you kidding me? Dad, I called you from Lawrence, alright? Sam called you when I was dying. I mean, getting you on the phone - I got a better chance of winning the lottery.
John : I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school. I want, I want Dean to have a home. I want Mary alive. I just... I just want this to be over.
Dean : Don’t say just in case something happens to you. I don’t want to hear that freakin’ speech, man. Nobody’s dying tonight. Not us, not that family, nobody... Except that demon. That evil son of a bitch isn’t getting any older than tonight, you understand me?
Meg : I’m so not in the mood for this. I’ve just been shot!
Sam : Dean, let me go! It’s still in there!
Dean : It’s burning to the ground! It’s suicide!
Sam : I don’t care!
Dean : I do!
Dean : Sam, look... The three of us, that’s all we have. And that’s all I have. Sometimes I feel like I’m barely holding it together, man. Without you and Dad.....
Dean : Well, yeah, but last time we saw you, I mean, you did threaten to blast him full of buckshot. Cocked the shotgun and everything.
Bobby : Yeah, well, what can I say? John just has that effect on people.
Bobby : The storm’s coming, and you boys, your Daddy - you are smack in the middle of it.
Dean : [To Fireman] Well, I’ve got a Yorkie upstairs and he pees when he’s nervous....
Dean : You know that guy I shot? There was a person in there.
Sam : You didn’t have a choice, Dean.
Dean : Yeah, I know, that’s not what bothers me.
Sam : Then what does?
Dean : Killing that guy, killing Meg. I didn’t hesitate, I didn’t even flinch. For you or Dad, the things I’m willing to do or kill, it’s just, uh .... it scares me sometimes.
Dean : Come on, Sam. Go find some hoodoo priest to lay some mojo on me.
Dean : [To John who cant hear him] Come on, Dad. You've gotta help me. I've gotta get better, I've gotta get back in there. I mean, you haven't called a soul for help. You haven't even tried. Aren't you going to do anything? Aren't you even going to say anything? I've done everything you've ever asked me. Everything. I have given everything I've ever had. And you're just going to sit there and you're going to watch me die? I mean, what the hell kind of father are you?
Dean : Dude, I full-on Swayze'd that mother.
John : [To Sam] Can we not fight? You know, half the time we're fighting, I don't know what we're fighting about. We're just butting heads. Sammy, I, I've made some mistakes. But I've always done the best I could. I just don't want to fight anymore, okay?
John : [To Dean] You know, when you were a kid, I'd come home from a hunt, and after what I'd seen, I'd be, I'd be wrecked. And you, you'd come up to me and you, you'd put your hand on my shoulder and you'd look me in the eye and you'd... You'd say "It's okay, Dad" Dean, I'm sorry. [...] You shouldn't have had to say that to me, I should have been saying that to you. You know, I put, I put too much on your shoulders, I made you grow up too fast. You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that, and you didn't complain, not once. I just want you to know that I am so proud of you.
Doctor : I'll call it. Time of death - 10:41 am.
Dean : This is humiliating. I feel like a friggin' soccer mom!
Ash : There are non-parametrics, statistical overviews, prospects and correlations, I mean.. damn! They're signs. Omens. Uh, if you can track 'em, you can track this demon. You know, like crop failures, electrical storms... You ever been struck by lightening? It ain't fun.
Jo : Most hunters come through that door think they can get in my pants with some pizza, a six pack, and side one of Zeppelin IV.
Sam : Well, at least I'm not afraid of flying.
Dean : Planes crash!
Sam : And apparently clowns kill!
Mr Cooper : You see, this place, it's a refuge for outcasts. Always has been. For folks that don't fit in nowhere else. But you two? You should go to school. Find a couple of girls. Have two point five kids. Live regular.
Sam : Sir? We don't want to go to school. And we don't want regular. We want this.
Ash : But if this fugly bastard raises his head, I'll know. I mean, I'm on it like Divine on dog dookie.
Sam : You know, if you two want to get a room, just let me know, Dean.
Sam : A couple of severed heads and a pile of dead cows and you're Mr. Sunshine.
Gordon : Well, lighten up a little, Sammy.
Sam : He's the only one who gets to call me that.
Dean : Sammy? Remind me to beat that buzzkill out of you later, all right?
Sam : You know, you slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel, Dean. Dad's dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it, but you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It's an insult to his memory.
Dean : What if we killed things that didn't deserve killing?
Neil : We've got booze, we've got chocolate, and, wait for it... tortured emo rock. Guaranteed cure for any broken heart.
Neil : I didn't realize the college employed grief counselors.
Dean : Oh yeah. Yeah, you talk, we listen. Or maybe throw in a little therapeutic collage, whatever jump-starts the healing.
Dean : What's dead should stay dead!
Sam : Dean, I don't scare easy, but man, you're scaring the crap out of me.
Sam : Stop. Please, Dean, it's killing you. Please. We've already lost Dad. We've lost Mom. I've lost Jessica. And now I'm going to lose you too?
Dean : Hello? Neil?! It's your grief counselors, we've come to hug.
Dean : You and Dad... you're the most important people in my life. And now... I never should have come back, Sam. It wasn't natural. And now look what's come of it. I was dead. And I should have stayed dead. You wanted to know how I was feeling. Well, that's it. So tell me. What could you possibly say to make that all right?
Dean : There's gonna be hunters there, I don't know if, if, if going in and announcing that you're some supernatural freak with a, a demonic connection is the best thing, okay?
Sam : So I'm a freak now?
Dean : You've always been a freak.
Sam : Hey Ash. Um. We need your help.
Ash : Well, hell then. Guess I need my pants.
Dean : REO Speedwagon?
Jo : Damn right REO. Kevin Cronin sings it from the heart.
Dean : He sings it from the hair. There's a difference.
Dean : He's psychic. Kind of like you. Well, not really like you, but see, he thinks you're a murderer, and he's afraid that he's going to become one himself, 'cause you're all part of something that's terrible. And I hope to hell that he's wrong, but I'm starting to get a little scared that he might be right.
Weber : He came to me. In my dream. He said I was special. He told me he's got big plans for me. Wait 'till you see what's in store, Andy, for both of us! See, he's the one who told me I had a brother. A twin.
Sam : Right circumstances, everyone's capable of murder. Everyone. You know, maybe that's what the demon's doing. Pushing us. Finding ways to break us.
Ellen : You mind your tongue with me, boy. This isn't just your war, this is war. Now, something big and bad's coming and it's coming fast, and their side holds all the cards. Now, at best all we got is us. Together. No secrets or half-truths here.
Dean : Young girl's been kidnapped by an evil cult.
Sam : Yeah? Girl got a name?
Dean : Katie Holmes.
Dean : [To Jo] Sweetheart, this ain't gender studies. Women can do the job fine. Amateurs can't. You have no experience. What you do have is a bunch of half-baked romantic that some barflies put in your head.
Dean : Remember when I said you being bait was a bad plan? Now it's kind of the only one we got.
Sam : So? This job as glamorous as you thought it would be?
Jo : Well, except for all the pee-your-pants terror, yeah.
Dean : What do you think, Scully? You wanna check it out?
Sam : I'm not Scully, you're Scully.
Dean : No, I'm Mulder. You're a red-headed woman.
Dean : My name is Dean Winchester. I'm an Aquarius. I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach, and frisky women. And I did not kill anyone. But I know who did. Or rather what did. Of course it can't be for sure, because our investigation was interrupted. But our working theory was that we're looking for some kind of vengeful spirit.
Sam : You know? This is bothering me.
Ballard : Well, you are digging up a corpse.
Sam : No, not that. That's, uh, that's pretty par for the course, actually.
Dean : Dude, I'm like Dillinger or something.
Dean : Well, we know a little about a lot of things. Just enough to make us dangerous.
Dean : I usually like to be warned before I'm violated with demon tongue.
Sam : [To Dean] Roanoke? Lost colony? Ring a bell? Dean, did you pay any attention in history class?
Sam : You might kill an innocent man, and you don't even care! You don't act like yourself anymore, Dean. Hell, you know what? You're acting like one of those things out there.
Duane : You were gonna shoot me!
Dean : You don't shut your pie hole, I still might.
Sam : This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.
Dean : I don’t know about that. Remember that waitress in Tampa?
Dean : I'm tired, Sam. I'm tired of this job, this life . . . this weight on my shoulders, man. I'm tired of it.
Ava : [To Sam] Okay, you know what? Screw you buddy, okay, cos I'm a secretary from Peoria and I'm not part of anything, okay? D'you see this? I am getting married in eight weeks. I am supposed to be at home, addressing invitations, which I am way behind on by the way, but instead I drove out here to save your weirdo ass, but if you just wanna stay here and die, fine. Me? I'm due back on planet Earth.
Sam: Are you okay?
Ava: Am I okay?
Sam: Yeah.
Ava: I just helped you steal some dead guy's confidential psych files. I'm awesome!
Ellen: Now, Dean, they say you can’t protect your loved ones forever. Well, I say screw that-- what else is family for?
Dean: What’s the point of saving the world if you can’t get a little nookie once in a while, huh?
Susan: I don't believe this.
Dean: Listen, sister, that car didn't try to run you down by itself, okay? I mean I guess it did, technically, but if a spirit can... forget it.
Dean: We gotta figure this out and fast. What d'ya find out about Granny?
Sam: (drunkenly) You're bossy.
Dean: What?!
Sam: You're bossy. And short... (chuckles)
Dean: Are you drunk?
Sam: Yeah! So? Stupid.
Dean: Of course, the most troubling question is why do these people assume we're gay?
Sam: Well, you are kind of butch. They probably think you're overcompensating.
Dean: Dude, this is sweet! I never get to work jobs like this.
Sam: Like what?
Dean: Old-school haunted houses. Secret passageways, sissy British accents. We might even get to run into Fred and Daphne while we're inside. Mmm, Daphne...love her.
Frannie: So, what's it like, being an FBI guy?
Dean: Well, it's dangerous, yeah. And the secrets we gotta keep, oh God, the secrets. But mostly it's... it's lonely.
Ronald: This is not a robbery! Everybody on the floor, now!
Frannie: So, what's it like, being an FBI guy?
Dean: Well, it's dangerous, yeah. And the secrets we gotta keep, oh God, the secrets. But mostly it's... it's lonely.
Dean: Man, you have got to try this because there really is magic in the magic fingers.
Sam: Dude. You're enjoying that way too much. It's kinda making me uncomfortable.
Sam: Dude, all right, I'll admit, we've gone pretty ghetto with spellwork before, but this takes the cake! I mean, a Spongebob placemat instead of an altar cloth?!
Dean: We'll just put it Spongebob-side down.
Dean: That lore about unicorns is true too. I hear they ride on silver moonbeams, and shoot rainbows out of their ass.
Bobby: Don't try and con a con man.
Sam: (in a sing-song voice) My Daddy shot your Daddy in the head.
Dean: These punishments, they’re almost poetic. Well, actually they’d be more like a limerick, but still…
Sam: Dean. this is a very serious investigation. We don't have time for any of your blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah... blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah!
Dean: Y'know, just once I'd like to round the corner and see a nice house.
Sam: It's an old country custom, Dean. Planting a tree as a grave-marker.
Dean: You're like a walking encyclopedia of weirdness.
Sam: Yeah, I know.
Molly: What happens if you burn their bones?
Sam: My dad always said it's like death for spirits. But the truth is, we never know.
Sam: What were you doing with Kurt?
Madison: I don’t know. I mean, it’s not like he introduced himself like, “Hi, I’m possessive and controlling and I like to punch people, wanna be my girlfriend?”
Madison: You know for a stakeout, your car's a bit conspicuous.
Sam: Can I ask you a question? I, it's, it's a little personal.
Madison: You've seen my entire underwear collection. Go ahead.
Brad: Uh, excuse me, green-shirt guy? Yeah, yeah, you, come here. Could you get me a smoothie from craft?
Dean: You want a what from who?
Tara: Doesn’t that sound silly? Why would a ghost be afraid of salt?
Sam: You know, maybe the spirits are trying to shut down the movie because they think it sucks. 'Cause, I mean, it kind of does.
Dean: What's a PA?
Sam: I think they're kinda like slaves.
Mara: Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in here?
Dean: I've got a vague notion.
Randall: Why you inside, kid?
Sam: Cause I got an idiot for a brother.
Randall: That’ll do it.
Dean: Don't worry, Sam. I promise I won't trade you for smokes.
Hendrickson: You think you're funny?
Dean: I think I'm adorable.
Dean: You should have seen it, Sam... our lives... you were such a wussy.
Carmen: What do you say later we get you a cheeseburger?
Dean: Oh god yes. How’d I end up with such a cool chick?
Carmen: I just got low standards.
Sam: I thought it was supposed to be a fantasy.
Dean: It wasn't. If Mom never died, you and me would've never gone hunting and you and me, you know.
Sam: Yeah. Well, I'm glad we did.
Dean: Bitch.
Sam: What're you calling me a bitch for?
Dean: You're supposed to say "jerk."
Sam: What?
Dean: Never mind.
Ava: Sam, psychic abilities and spoon-bending... it's one thing. But demons?
Sam: Andy, you still with me, or what?
Andy: Give me a minute, I'm still working through "Demons are real."
Andy: I've been practicing, training my brain like meditation, right, so now it's not just thoughts I can beam out, but images, too, like anything I want. It's like bam, people they see it. This one guy I know, total dick. I use it on him... gay porn. All hours of the day.
Jake: Salt is a weapon?
Sam: It's a brave new world.
Dean: When you were little, couldn't have been more than five, you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom. Why did we always have to move around. Where's Dad. I remember I begged you. 'Quit asking, Sammy. You don't want to know.' I just wanted you to be a kid. Just for a little while longer. Always tried to protect you. Keep you safe. Dad didn't even have to tell me. It's just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job. I had one job, and I screwed it up. I blew it, and for that, I'm sorry. I guess that’s what I do. I let down the people I love. Y’know, I let Dad down, and now I guess I’m just supposed to let you down, too. How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy? What am I supposed to do?
Yellow-Eyed Demon: So, Dean. I gotta thank you. You see, demons can't resurrect people unless a deal is made. I know, red tape, it'll make you nuts. But thanks to you, Sammy's back in rotation. I wasn't counting on that, but I'm glad. I liked him better than Jake anyhow.
Yellow-Eyed Demon: Boys shouldn't play with Daddy's guns.
Ellen: A lot of good people died in there, and I got to live. Lucky me
Dean: We've got work to do.
Sam: Dean, let me see your knife.
Dean: What for?
Sam: So I can gouge my eyes out.
Bobby: So, we're eating bacon cheeseburgers for breakfast, are we?
Dean: Well, sold my soul. Got a year to live. I ain't sweatin' the cholesterol.
Dean: All I see is the light at the end of the tunnel.
Sam: That's hellfire, Dean.
Isaac: The family that slays together....
Isaac: I've locked my keys in the car, turned my laundry pink, but I've never brought on the end of the world.
Sam: Why are you following me?
Hunter: I'm interested in you.
Sam: Why?
Hunter: Because you're tall.
Sam: So let me get this straight. You want to drive all the way to Cicero just to hook up with some random chick?
Dean: She was a yoga teacher. That was the bendiest weekend of my life.
Sam: You're a demon!
Hunter: Don't be such a racist.
Lisa: Ben may not be your kid, but he wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you. That's a lot, if you ask me.
Dean: Yeah, well, you know. He's a great kid. I would have been proud to be his dad.
Dean: We'll just drag the kids, lay them out, torch them in the front lawn. That'll be great with the neighbors.
Dean: I'm Batman!
Kubrick: Don't play with my Jesus.
Kubrick: It's God. He sent us here to do this. It's destiny.
Dean: Nope. No destiny. Just a rabbit's foot.
Kubrick: You were right about everything. Sam Winchester is more than a monster. He's the Adversary.
Gordon: And what happened to convince you?
Kubrick: God led me to him. And His will is clear.
Gordon: Okay. Glad to have you on board, Kubrick. But first things first. We got to get me the hell out of here. Because, like I told you before, Sam Winchester must die.
Dean: What the hell is wrong with you? You don’t just go around shooting people like that!
Bela: Relax, it’s a shoulder hit. I can aim. Besides, who here hasn’t shot a few people?
Dean: Azazel?
Casey: What, you think his friends just called him Yellow-Eyes? He had a name.
Sam: For some reason, you’re fighting on our side. Why is that, again?
Ruby: Go screw yourself, that’s why.
Dean: All you demons have such smart mouths.
Casey: It’s a gift.
Casey: So you see? Is my kind really really all that different than yours?
Dean: Well, except that, uh, demons are evil.
Casey: And humans are such a lovable bunch. Dick Cheney.
Dean: He's one of yours?
Casey: Not yet. Let's just say he's got a parking spot reserved for him downstairs.
Dean: I thought all those things ended with everyone living happily ever after.
Sam: No, no, not the originals. See, the Grimm Brothers stuff was kind of like the folklore of its day, full of sex, violence, cannabalism. Now, it got sanitized over the years and turned into Disney flicks and bedtime stories.
Dean: So you think the murders are what, a re-enactment? That's a little crazy.
Sam: Crazy as what? Every day of our lives?
Dean: Touche.
Dean: All right, maybe it is fairy tales. Totally messed-up fairy tales. I'll tell you one thing, there’s no way I'm kissing a damned frog.
Dean: I'm gonna stop the big bad wolf. Which is the weirdest thing I've ever said.
Sam: I think it's Snow White.
Dean: Snow White? Ah, I saw that movie. Oh, porn version anyway.
Bela: You boys should learn to lock your doors. Anyone could just barge in.
Sam: Anyone just did.
Bela: Do you really think this is going to work?
Dean: Almost definitely not.
Bela: Don't you dare look down your nose at me. You're no better than I am.
Dean: We help people.
Bela: Come on! You do this out of vengeance and obsession. You're a stone's throw from being a serial killer. Whereas I on the other hand, I get paid to do a job, and I do it. So you tell me, which is healthier?
Dean: A Hand of Glory? I think I got one of those at the end of my Thai massage last week.
Bela: You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.
Dean: Don't objectify me.
Dean: Bela, if we make it out of this alive, the first thing I'm gonna do is kill you.
Bela: You're not serious.
Dean: Listen to my voice, and tell me if I'm serious.
Dixon: You're a big part of why my people are nearly extinct, Gordon.
Gordon: Your "people" are going extinct because you're a bunch of mindless, bloodthirsty animals.
Dean: What do you want me to do, Sam, huh? Sit around all day writing sad poems about how I’m going to die? You know what, I’ve got one. Let’s see, what rhymes with "Shut up, Sam"?
Sam: Drop the attitude, Dean. Quit turning everything into a punchline. And you know something else? Stop trying to act like you're not afraid.
Dean: I'm not!
Sam: You're lying! And you may as well drop it cause I can see right through you.
Dean: You got no idea what you're talking about.
Sam: Yeah, I do. You're scared Dean. You're scared because your year is running out and you're still going to hell, and you're freaked.
Dean: And how do you know that?
Sam: Because I know you!
Dean: Really?
Sam: Yeah because I've been following you around my entire life! I mean I've been looking up to you since I was four, Dean. Studying you, trying to be just like my big brother. So yeah, I know you. Better that anyone else in the entire world. And this.. Is exactly how you act when you're terrified. And I mean I can't blame you. It's just...
Dean: What?
Sam: It's just I wish you would drop the show and be my brother again. Cause.. just cause.
Gordon: Sam Winchester’s the antichrist.
Bela: Ooh. I’d heard something about that…
Gordon: It’s true.
Bela: …from the Easter Bunny. Who heard it from the Tooth Fairy.
Young Sam: But Dad said the monsters under my bed weren't real.
Young Dean: That's 'cause he'd already checked under there. But, yeah, they're real. Almost everything's real.
Young Sam: Is Santa real?
Young Dean: No.
Sam: He punishes the wicked.
Dean: By hauling their asses up the chimney.
Sam: For starters, yeah.
Dean: What could you possibly say that's gonna sound crazy to me?
Sam: Um, Evil Santa.
Dean: Yeah, that's crazy.
Young Dean: First thing you have to know is we have the coolest dad in the world. He's a superhero.
Dean: You fudgeing touch me again, I'll fudgeing kill you.
Sam: Well, we're not dealing with the anti-Claus.
Dean: What'd Bobby say?
Sam: Uh, that we're morons.
Dean: I hate witches. They're all spewing their body liquids everywhere. It's creepy. Hell, it's downright unsanitary!
Ruby: That's what happens when you go to Hell, Dean. That's what it is. Forgetting.
Ruby: You need to help me get him ready for life without you. To fight this war on his own.
Dean: Ruby? Why do you want us to win?
Ruby: Isn't it obvious? I'm not like them. I wish I was, but I'm not. I remember what it's like.
Dean: What what's like?
Ruby: Being human.
Sam: Look, Dean, you're leaving, right? And I got to stay here in this craphole of a world... alone. So, the way I see it, if I'm gonna make it, if I'm gonna fight this war after you're gone, then I got to change.
Dean: Change into what?
Sam: Into you. I gotta be more like you.
Ruby: The answer is yes, by the way.
Dean: Sorry?
Ruby: Yes, the same thing will happen to you. It might take centuries, but sooner or later, Hell will burn away your humanity. Every hell bound soul, everyone, turns into something else. Turns you into us, so, yeah... yeah, you can count on it.
Dean: My father was an obsessed bastard! All that crap he dumped on me about protecting Sam, that was his crap! He's the one who couldn't protect his family! He's the one who let Mom, who wasn't there for Sam! I always was! It wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me! And I don't deserve to go to Hell!
Sam: What was Bobby doing in Pittsburgh?
Dean: I don't know, unless he was taking an extremely lame vacation.
Dean: Sam?
Sam: Yeah?
Dean: I've been doing some thinking. And well, the thing is, I don't want to die. I don't want to go to Hell.
Sam: Okay. We'll find a way to save you.
Dean: Okay, good
Dean: I take it we believe the legends.
Sam: When don't we?
Sam: The truth is, no one can save you.
Dean: What I've been telling you.
Sam: No, what I mean is no one can save you because you don't want to be saved.
Demon Waitress: So you get to just strolled out of the Pit, huh? Tell
me, what makes you so special?
Dean: I'd like to think it's because of my perky nipples.
Bobby: Dean, your chest was ribbons, your insides were slop. And you'd
been buried for four months. Even if you could slip out of Hell and inside your
meatsuit.
Dean: I know. I should look like a Thriller video reject.
Bobby: What do you remember?
Dean: Not much. I remember I was a hellhound's chew toy. Then lights
out. Then I come to six feet under. That was it.
Sam: You built a panic room?
Bobby: I had a weekend off.
Dean: Bobby, you're awesome.
Castiel: You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in.
Dean: Ronald. Hey, come on, man. We were pals.
Ronald: That was when I was breathing. Now I'm gonna eat you alive.
Dean: Well, but I'm not a cheeseburger.
Dean: I thought angels were supposed to be guardians. Fluffy wings. Halos. You know, Michael Landon, not dicks.
Dean: Sammy, wherever you are - Mom is a babe! I'm so going to hell. Again.
Mary: This job. I hate it. I want a family. I want to be safe. You know the worst thing I can think of, the very worst thing? Is for my children to be raised into this like I was. I won't let it happen.
Samuel: She wants to hunt, she doesn't want to hunt. Is this some female "time of the month thing?"
Samuel: So you didn't notice anything unusual, ma'am?
Beth Wiltshire: You mean like my husband's guts fertilizing the back
forty?
Yellow-Eyed Demon: Demon blood is better than Ovaltine, vitamins, minerals, it makes you big and strong!
Sam: I'm not going to let it go too far.
Dean: It's already gone too far, Sam. If I didn't know you, I would want
to hunt you.
Dean: I've seen big weird, little weird, weird with crazy on top. But this guy, come on this guy's boring.
Travis: But most of all, they're hungry.
Dean: Hungry for what?
Travis: At first for everything. But then, the long pig.
Dean: "Long pig"?
Sam: He means human flesh.
Dean: And that is my word of the day.
Dean: You probably feeling your bones moving under your skin. and your appetite's reaching Hungry Hungry Hippo levels. How am I doing so far?
Sam: I've got demon blood in me, Dean. This disease pumping through my veins and I can't ever rip it out or scrub it clean. I'm a whole new level of freak
Dean: Come on, man, it's like the good old days! An honest-to-goodness monster hunt! It's about time the Winchesters got back to tackling a straightforward, black-and-white case.
Dean: Which leads me to conclude, sadly, that my virginity is intact.
Sam: What?
Dean: I've been re-hymenated!
Jamie: Wait a minute, you're a Fed? Wow, you don't come on like a Fed.
Seriously?
Dean: I'm a maverick, ma'am. A rebel with a badge. One thing I don't
play by... the rules.
Jamie: No self-respecting bar wench lets herself get picked up by a customer on the first try.
Dean: Last few years, I started thinking that way, and you know, it started sort of weighing on me. Of course, that was before... A little while ago, I had this... let's called it a near-death experience. Very near. And I... When I came to... things were different. My life's been different. I realize that I help people. Not just help them, you know, I save them. I guess it's... it's awesome. It's kind of like a gift. Like a mission. Kind of like a mission from God.
Dean: Hey, you think this Dracula can turn into a bat? That'd be cool.
Dracula: Everywhere I ran, everywhere I tried to hide, people found
me, dragged me out, attacked me. Called me "freak," called me "monster."
Then I found... them. The great monsters. In their movies, they were strong,
they were feared. They were beautiful. And now I am like them. Commanding. Terrifying.
Jamie: Lonely.
Sam: How ya feelin'?
Dean: Awesome. It's nice to have my head on the chopping block again,
I almost forgot what that feels like. It's friggin delightful.
Coroner: Everyone drops dead sooner or later. That's why I've got job security.
Dean: I mean, come on, we hunt monsters. What the hell?!? I mean, normal people, they see a monster and run. No, no, we search out things that want to kill us. Yeah? Huh? Or eat us! You know who does that? Crazy people! We… are insane. You know, then there's the bad diner food and then the skeevy motel rooms and the truck-stop waitress with the bizarre rash. I mean, who wants this life, Sam? Huh? Seriously? Do you actually like being stuck in a car with me eight hours a day, every single day. I don't think so. I mean, I drive too fast and I listen to the same five albums over and over and over again and, and I sing along and I'm annoying, I know that. And you… you're gassy. You eat half a burrito and you get toxic!
Sam: Dude, you're going twenty.
Dean: And?
Sam: That's the speed limit.
Dean: What? Safety's a crime now?
Sam: Dude, where are you going? That was our hotel.
Dean: Sam, I'm not gonna make a left-hand turn into oncoming traffic,
I'm not suicidal. Did I just say that? That was kinda weird.
Sam: Yeah. How you feeling, by the way?
Dean: Fine.
Bobby: You sure, Dean? 'Cause this line of work can get awful scary.
Dean: I'm fine. You want to go hunting? I'll hunt. I'll kill anything.
Sam: Aw.
Bobby: He's adorable.
Dean: This Luke Wallace - He was so vanilla that he made vanilla seem spicy.
Sam: You can't do this. You're angels. You're supposed to show mercy.
Uriel: Says who?
Dean: Yeah, well, if you were a six-hundred-year hag and you could come any costume to come back in, wouldn't you go for a hot cheerleader? I would. Mmm.
Dean: I mean, come on, you're gonna wipe out a whole town for one little witch. Sounds to me like you're compensating for something.
Dean: Well, are you gonna figure out a way to find this witch, or are you just gonna sit there fingering your bone?
Teddy Bear: It is a terrible world. Why am I here?
Audrey: For tea parties!
Teddy Bear: Tea parties? Is that all there is?
Dean: I got to tell you, I'm pretty disappointed.
Sam: You wanted to save naked women.
Dean: Darn right I wanted to save some naked women.
Dean: The things that I saw. There aren't words. There is no forgetting. there's no making it better. Because it is right here… forever. You wouldn't understand. and I could never make you understand. So I am sorry.
Dean: Women, showers. We got to save these people.
Dean: So what, Bigfoot breaks into a liquor store jonesing for some hooch? Amaretto and Irish Cream. He's a girl-drink drunk.
Anna: This demon, Lilith, is trying to break the 66 seals to free Lucifer from Hell. Lucifer… will bring the Apocalypse. So… smoke 'em if you got 'em.
Alastair: Don't you recognize me? Oh, I forgot--I'm wearing a pediatrician.
Ruby: This body is 100% socially conscious. I recycle. Al Gore would be proud.
Dean: Sam?
Sam: Yeah?
Dean: Too much information.
Sam: Hey, I told you I was coming clean.
Dean: Yeah, but now I feel dirty.
Sam: She was convinced that he wasn't her real daddy.
Dean: Who was? The plumber, hmmm? A little snaking the pipes?
Sam: Dude, you're confusing reality with porn again.
Pamela: Sam, is that you?
Sam: I'm right here.
Pamela: Oh. Know how I can tell? That perky little ass of yours. You
could bounce a nickel off that thing.
Dean: What was that for?
Anna: You know… our last night on Earth… all that.
Dean: You're stealing my best line.
Anna: My mother, Amy, couldn't get pregnant. Always called me her little
miracle. She had no idea how right she was.
Dean: So, you just forgot that you were God's little Power Ranger?
Ruby: I just came to talk.
Alastair: About what? About how a demon is protecting an angel? We really
must revoke your membership.
Dean: Iron walls drenched in salt. Demons can't even touch the joint.
Ruby: Which I find racist, by the way.
Dean: Write your Congressman.
Dean: Boy, three bedrooms, two baths, and one homicide. This place is going to sell like hotcakes.
Mrs. Curry: I already told the local boys, there was blood… everywhere.
Dean: And Mr. Gibson, where was he?
Mrs. Curry: Everywhere.
Dean: What kind of ghost messes with a man's wheels?!?
Dean: I'm getting your son back if it's the last godforsaken thing I do.
Dean: I enjoyed it, Sam. they took me off the rack, and I tortured souls, and I liked it. All those years; all that pain. Finally getting to deal some out yourself...I didn't care who they put in front of me, because that pain I felt, that just slipped away. No matter how many people I save, I can't change that. I can't fill this hole. Not ever.
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